it is really late and I cant sleep...sometimes when I cant sleep I start daydreaming about all that has happened over the past few weeks. it all seems so surreal. its like I have been in this terrible dream and I cant wake up. but then, when I do finally wake up I realize it wasnt a dream at all. it really all happened. no matter how many times I go over it in my head everything remains as it is. there are no variables that change or any pieces I have missed. I just have to come to grips with the fact that she is gone. when God takes someone out of the world they are gone forever from this world. but they have just begun their eternal life with Him in heaven. when u think about it that way it is very comforting. we will continue to hurt for her and yearn for her to be here but she is in a much better place. a place where all of her sins have been washed clean, although she had very few. she is in perfect condition and feels no fear or tortureous thoughts. we can all be thamkful for that. That is where I now am in this whole process. the thankfulness of her being in heaven, at peace greatly outweighs the pain of her not being here. I will always miss her more than anything, and im sure my days will still be sad, but ultimately she is in heaven with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! I will thank God everyday for that. dad,and I will eventually learn how to move on in life , but it wont be without her...no, she is still very much a part of our lives,through our memories of her and by the example she left us of how to be true christian servant! I love u mom and always will everday of this life and the next:)